The Obstacles of an Extroverted Artist

We all know the trope of the introverted artist. The one who’s expected to enjoy being alone in their studio with the door locked - nothing but them, their playlist and their brushes while they paint the day away…

That’s not always the case!

Sure, when I’m in the moment and in the zone, I don’t like to be disturbed. I don’t appreciate distractions, but that’s a focus thing more so than a personality trait. I’m extroverted, but I do end up spending a lot of my time isolated.

Isolation from Outside Influences

Between my medical condition and my art, I’m very isolated, and I feel that isolation deeply. 

Believe it or not, the winter is when I’m able to get out and about more often. There’s less tourists in the village, so I can enjoy that space a lot more safely and easily.

In the warmer months, I’m faced with more obstacles. Because of my sensitivity to scents and my allergy to topical zinc, I can’t wear sunblock. So that means no going outside between 10am-4pm for me. And I truly can’t be around any scented products. Think dryer sheets, cleaning supplies, air freshener, soap, deodorant, lotion, shave cream essential oils, hair products, body wash, car care products, garbage bags, diapers - anything that has fragrance added. When there’s more tourists around, it’s best if I avoid the village.

Social anxiety plays a role in this, too. This medical condition forces me to put a lot of trust and my sense of safety in the hands of others, and I’ve been let down many times. 

I worked at a job where I tolerated a lot of disregard for my well-being. I would have scent-induced asthma attacks that forced me to go home early almost every day. Scent free guidelines were a requirement of their lease, and it was a designated scent free building. They ignored it. 

I suggested that they install a particulate counter at the door and if it got set off, that person would have to go home. They kept telling me that they could abide by it, but no one did. They even had me pay for multiple forms from my doctor explaining how they could accommodate me. Instead, the director told me that I “should just live in a bubble.” I spent 7 years working there, and throughout that time, a lot of hurtful things were said and done. 

I was made to feel like a burden. They weren’t willing to accommodate my needs and they weren’t willing to fire me. Instead, they continued to make it so difficult for me to thrive there that I was forced to leave. This experience led to my permanent disability, a reactivation of my Complex PTSD and caused new trauma responses.

This experience crosses over into my interpersonal relationships too. I have a hard time trusting other people to show up in my space and not create havoc for me.

Setting Expectations

As cheery and happy-go-lucky as I am, this way of moving through the world gets heavy and the loneliness is real. I want the company so badly that I’ll often try to cope if I’m not actively reacting. Unfortunately, that means the reaction will surface later. I have a hepa filter on my house furnace to help filter out the particulates. 

Sometimes that’s not enough, and I have to manage expectations when it comes to spending time with folks. So few realize the extent of my medical condition.

For example, when someone comes to visit, I might need them to leave their jacket outside. Scent particles linger indoors, and that can cause me to suffer through my symptoms for much longer. In some cases that person might not be able to come into my home or my studio at all. That’s a tough boundary to set, but if it’s between them not coming inside and me going to the hospital for oxygen… I’m putting my safety first.

Luckily, there are people who show up for me. They don’t think twice about jumping in my shower and changing into different clothes. When my son visited from Essex, he had to have 3 showers to get all the particulates off so I'd stop coughing. These folks are part of my chosen community - my chosen family - and I do my best to make sure they’re aware of how important they are to me. That their presence in my life makes a difference to me. 

We all need community. Our unique needs and boundaries are not a burden. And we deserve to be accommodated and respected just as much as anyone else.