Alternative Medicine

Cannabis and Psilocybin are my medicines. 

And they’ve been used as medicine by Indigenous people around the world for thousands of years. Respect is to be given to these medicines with gratitude, and they're meant to be used with care and intention.

When you think about it, it makes total sense that the medicine that grows out of the ground can have such a big impact on us. And while pharmaceuticals have made a world of difference for many people, we can’t ignore the benefits of natural, “alternative” medicine. 

Of course, there’s nuance to every situation, and everybody is different. The purpose of this post is not to suggest that anyone should shift their medications in the same way that I did. This is what works for me. I’m sharing MY experience as a result of decisions I made.

Ditching the Pharmaceuticals

Before moving to Nakusp, I had a prescription for Cannabis and had been using it regularly. I ended up deciding to take a break because my tolerance level had gone way up, and I was worried I was building a dependency on it. Taking this break meant that I was relying entirely on my pharmaceutical meds.

Not using pot for 3 months taught me that I have zero withdrawal from coming off of it. It also taught me I'm mean when I'm in pain. When I started taking cannabis again, it was actually because of my dog. He taught me that I can't take care of others unless I take care of myself first.

When I moved here, I was taking 45 pills a day. I had a big tupperware bin - you know the kind that holds 5 pounds of flour? Yeah, one of those. Every morning there was a fistful of pills to take, and every two hours after that, there was another fistful. I took two handfuls before bed so that I could sleep. Despite taking all of these meds, I didn’t have 90 functional minutes in a week, nevermind each day. I soon decided that I wanted to come off them.

I had to wean myself off of these pills SLOWLY and with doctor supervision. Having help is important. You can go through some nasty withdrawals with each reduction and completely destabilize your health. The process of coming off of Lyrica and Cymbalta was a nightmare and I truly thought I was going to die.

I could only drop the dose by a tiny bit every three months because the withdrawals could have caused a heart attack or a stroke. It was painful and I stunk and it was gross. I sweat buckets every time I lowered the dose. I couldn't eat or sleep. I just cried all day, everyday. Despite having pain so bad I’d pass out, I lowered the dose every chance I got. I knew these pills were killing me, and I could feel the life quitting inside of me.

I was, and still am so proud of myself for weaning off of them. 

A few weeks ago, I went back to my doctor and asked for Arthrotec again. I filled the prescription, but I haven’t actually taken it. Being on all of those pills made me very ill, and I don’t want to impact my art. It’s taken over 4 years to recover from that pharmaceutical nightmare I was immersed in. I don’t think my stomach will ever be ok again.

I'm sensitive and I have an acute sense of smell and taste. Ever had an IV? I can taste the saline the moment it hits my bloodstream. Those pills stole my senses. They dulled my sense of touch, so while I stopped feeling the IV, I could still taste the saline. Talk about disconcerting…

I couldn’t be doing what I’m doing today if I was still taking them.

Here and Now

Now, my regime looks a little different, and it works for me.

Psilocybin has helped with my PTSD in extraordinary ways. It brings me back from the painful places in my mind. Prior to microdosing, I couldn’t move forward through the pain. I’d be stuck there. Sometimes, I’d spend months trying to get out from underneath the weight of my depression just so I could get out of bed. 

I take two doses a week, and that helps me stay out of the dark places. Keep in mind, these are TINY doses. I don’t feel any actual psychoactive effects whatsoever. It’s just a little piece of mushroom that I eat and I feel better all week.

I can tell the difference in the way I feel when I don’t take my micro dose. My mood tanks. I don’t want to do anything or go anywhere. I just want to sit around in my funk. Since starting this protocol, I haven’t been bedridden with depression in over a year. Now, I have been in a depressed state since July, but shrooms help me move through it. I can get up and take care of my body. I can get dressed and go to the studio. I can continue to make art.

There’s quite a bit of research out there on the beneficial effects of Psilocybin on trauma-related conditions. Here’s a free article for your reading pleasure if you’d like to learn more. 

I’m not against western medicine, and I also believe that it isn't the only answer. Different things work for different people, and for many reasons, what I’m doing now works best for me.

I want to be open and honest about this. We need to talk about it! These medicines have helped my disabilities and my mental health in ways that other things haven’t. 

A key takeaway here is that everyone is different. Sharing my personal experience should not dictate how others do things. For me, pills created side effects in more ways than just physical. So, these are my solutions for today. And none of the meds I used to take or am taking are cures. They’re only bandaids, and I’m using the ones that fit MY needs.

I'm always keeping my mind open to new possibilities and remaining optimistic. After all, the only constant in this world is change, and it’s okay for things to shift when they need to.