My Pronouns Are Any/None

Let’s talk about gender nonconformity and gender anarchy.

We are taught about gender and gender roles all throughout our lives, both directly and indirectly. Gender is a system of violence, oppression, and control, and I am rejecting it. 

Gender nonconformity is choosing to ignore the ideas and stereotypes about how someone should look or act based on the gender they were assigned at birth.

And when someone tells us how they want to be addressed, they’re giving us the opportunity to know them and respect them.

The Resonance of Gender Euphoria

My pronouns are: any/none. 

I use these pronouns because I believe that gender is a system of violence. I previously published a blog that discusses this and you can read it here.

I've been working on how to express myself and my identity with more clarity. The last time I talked about this, some of my thought processes weren't complete and I needed more time to come to an understanding in myself. I was still new in my pronouns, feeling impatient, and my excitement over finally having the words that felt right kept me from taking the time to gain my confidence.

Journaling helps me to figure out who Nik really is and how to express that in a more dependable way.

At first, I rejected the whole idea that I wasn’t female because I was always told that I had to be. And I was made to feel that if I was called anything else, that was shameful.

Now, rejecting the gender binary is a reclamation of myself. I firmly believe that I was born non-binary, and I’ve been non-binary my whole life. I just didn’t have the language or the education to express it.

I had to get past my shame and my fear about what it meant to non-binary in order to take that step.

Understanding “Any”

I can fit into the female box and the male box, but I have to squish myself small, and hide the leftover bits of me that don't fit in. I have lived my life encompassing and with an awareness of all gendered roles. Now, I feel comfortable with someone referring to me with he/his, she/hers, they/theirs, ve/vers it/its per/pers, NB, or other non-binary pronouns.

That being said, any truly means any. And the most beautiful thing is when a friend will refer to me using every single pronoun they know, all inclusively and without prejudice. Check out this resource to learn more about gender neutral/inclusive pronouns.

Facts are facts. While I can assume the role of male or female, and feel I'm somewhat both, I'm also neither. I'm something else. I'm connected to everything and nothing.

Understanding “None”

I also choose no pronouns because I would prefer for people to not speak about me in 3rd person at all. I don’t want to hear “Nik did this.” It bothers me to think of people talking about me when I’m not present and able to advocate for myself.

And I’m allowed to have likes and dislikes, and to take up space by expressing them.

If I could control everything in the world, I would choose to have a “none” pronoun. Surrendering to that lack of control over the way people speak of me creates space for the “any” pronouns.

It All Boils Down to Respect

Ultimately, I want people to give me the pronouns that they respect the most. 

It shows me what they are capable of seeing based on their own education. If that means they can’t interchange being he, ve, or they, then I know that they respect a particular pronoun and gender more than the other. Or perhaps they’re still caught up in grammar policing behaviour.

But language is meant to evolve just as we are.

Choosing gender nonconformity comes with the understanding that we are more than the sum of our parts. We are deep thinkers. We see the violence and damage that gender has done to our world as a whole. We want to heal it, and for people to love each other without toxic gender roles.

Nobody should be treating others with less or different respect than anybody else. We should be giving everyone respect as they are and for who they are.