Attention to Detail

I’ve been having lots of fun playing with reels on Instagram. My focus is on posting what makes me happy rather than trying to do what is trending or easily consumable for others. Part of that is hiding details in plain sight. There are a couple consistent items that I include alongside my paintings. Have you noticed?

The Red Tulips

When my partner Glenn and I first got together 12 years ago, I was not interested in a relationship at all. I had been a single mom for 10 years by that point, and I saw a relationship as being tied down. I didn’t want that.

As we dated, I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. One day, Glenn and I had gotten into an argument. At that time, I was still in this colonial mindset where someone making a mistake was catastrophic, and I would explode into a rage. He sat and waited for my rage to subside, and we eventually figured out what the core of the problem was. 

At that time, I was also under the impression that if a person truly cares about you, they’ll prove it with a grand gesture. Flowers, jewellery, date night, cook you a fancy meal; love languages essentially. I told Glenn that I wanted and deserved a grand gesture (although, he probably deserved it more than I did), but not flowers because they die. 

I went to work, came back home and nothing had happened. Nothing had changed. In my head, I was thinking “You didn’t get the message? I went through all this torture to give you this message and you didn’t receive it?” So I got angry again and went to bed. 

Fun fact about me: I don't normally turn on lights - almost ever. So I walked into my dark room, pulled back the covers on my bed and crawled in. That’s when I noticed there were sticks on my pillow…

I turned on my light, and there sat the red tulips on my pillow. Glenn went and found a bundle of flowers that would never die and quietly surprised me with them. I don’t even like tulips but I love those flowers because I asked him to do the impossible and he found a way to do it. He was really humble about it, too. What an amazing guy!

Every time I interact with those flowers, I think about my relationship with Glenn and how we’ve grown and changed over the last 12 years. I went from being manipulative, hoarding my feelings, not communicating and shut down, to being open and honest in sharing my feelings and my needs. Little by little, I learned that if I told him what was going on in my heart, he would hold that space and honour it.

It's so freeing to stop expecting someone to read your mind.

Roses and Books

I have two roses that show up in my reels, too. There is a little metal rose that my daughter made. There’s a black rose that Glenn’s mother gave us. The vase is something that I bought when we first got our house. I wanted something from Nakusp that wasn’t new, so I went to the second-hand store and found it.

The black, hard-covered book is my daughter’s sketch book. My art journal also makes an appearance from time to time.

Each different element that I put into my reels is highly personal. I’m not sentimental, but the things that I hold onto are either generational or have a super high value to me. Not monetary value, but they are valuable in that they remind me of people and the relationships in my life. I think those are the best kinds of treasures to have: meaningful items with stories behind them.

My reels are peaceful and calm and I get to show off my art. I’d love to know if you enjoy them as much as I do!